She seems to be a happy cool person who has been blessed with everything a 25 year old would need. She was told her friends wished she was her cos her life was simple and easy. She was the one who got everything she wished when breathed a word of prayer. She was the one who had the best people around her, who never treated her less than a princess. She seemed to be excited about everything and had no regrets in life. She seemed like her life was full of fun with her fading sense of humor she once had. She always stood for her friends and family and listened to them crib about their own lives and said what they wanted to hear. She was a people pleaser and people liked to hang around with her for her positive energy. They needed her.
Result: overdose of people in her life.
But deep within she is a miserable loser, who never did what she wanted, who still wonders what she wants in her life, who constantly thinks of a reason for her living, who is more confused than an average confused person, who talks more inside her head, who writes in her small note which she carries always, to whom death scares the hell out of her and who doesn’t stay home alone. But she wears her brave and strong face mask always. Her heart is well hidden inside the metal corset and even her dear ones fail to study her thoughts. Little did she know that these people were going to be her biggest disappointment in her whole life. The bolster- that’s what one of her friend called her for she was beaten, thrown away and hugged –only when needed by her so-called-people.
Lately she has been feeling depressed. Not for her own life for it still remains perfect, at least she believes to be it. Her weak heart has reached the saturation point and the bolster has started to rip apart. She ends up crying for long hours after she hangs up her friends call. She weeps her lungs out for them. She is not able to stand their pain anymore and she chokes to death and wakes up with a bitter feeling every morning constantly worrying about her dear ones. She wants a shoulder to whom she can cry and who would just listen to her without judging her. Who would not call her weak hearted, who would not ridicule at her stupidity and who would say exactly what she wants to hear. She scrolls down her entire phone contacts and cries not able to find that right person. Thats when her blog comes to her rescue…